


No Poking

by FairyNiamh



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge 2015, Non-Penetrative Sex Toys, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete knew better than to poke things in the warehouse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Poking

"Get it off," Pete urged as he pulled on the torture device.

"Myka went to get the neutralizer. This should be a lesson to you," the older man said clamly as he rubbed his temples.

"Yup, don't poke things, they may bite your dick," Pete moaned in pain.

Artie rolled his eyes at the man in pain. "It's also unsanitary. Imagine that could have been used by a past agent who had a STD, or it could have been mine! Keep your dick in your pants and away from the artifacts."

"Okay, now that I have been physically and psychologically traumatized can we get this atavistic sex toy off my dick?" Pete whimpered.

"Congratulations on improving your vocabulary, even if I do doubt you know what that word means. Here is the neutralizer Artie," Myka said, just slightly out of breath.

"Well, don't just stand there, spray him," the older man told her while waving at the pained man.

"Do I have to?" she whined, doing her best not to look at Lattimer.

Artie sighed and leveled her with an unimpressed look. "Yes, letting your partner die, looks very bad on reviews."

"I hate this job," she grumbled as she sprayed the sex toy that had attached itself to her partner.

Pete sighed and collapsed as the antique masturbation device fell from his aching cock.

"Don't worry, the swelling will go down in a few days," Artie said calmly.

"Why is it shaped like a football?" Pete whined when he saw his once beautiful cock.

"Side effect. Don’t worry, like I said, the swelling will go down. Trust me," he said soothingly as he walked away.

Pete looked after him with horror in his eyes. "Shit, Artie, do you have any STDs that I need to worry about? ARTIE! "

~Fin~


End file.
